Fringe Cuttings

Well as the curtain falls on, or gets pulled across another Edinburgh Festival, here's my pick of the shows you may have missed. Actually, some of venues didn't have curtains at all, they turned the lights off. Or the cast walked off, them or the audience, ha ha!  Oh yeah, list of shows...

STOP! Lollipop!
Retired school crossing patrolman Neville Johnson talks about his 37 year career working outside some of London’s most notorious primary schools & kindergartens.Not suitable for nervous children or drivers.
“Startling” – Time Out. 


We Gotta Room!
Not for the first time, the Floodlights Review have booked one of the festivals most prestigious venues and then clean forgot to write any material. One year they did find a copy of a 1981 script stuffed behind the cistern in the gents, which at least provided jokes about Thatch, Lady Di & stuff. Expect much audience participation.
"Careless"-Edinburgh Evening News.

Bayeux by You
Glynis Porter is back in town asking audience members to relate the important moments of their lives, which during the course of the evening she embroiders into a tapestry. Free, but donations of yarn appreciated.
"Touching" - The People's Friend.

The Office Joker
Darren 'Daz' Harper demonstrates his special brand of comedy, so beloved by the girls in accounts but completely lost on anyone over the age of 27. The second half of the show consists of Daz's repeating something he nicked off Celebrity Juice ad nausea and his Fantasy Football selection for next weekend. Fit birds & Hen Parties welcome, no fat birds or angry boyfriends  allowed.
"Daz is freakin' brilliant" - Nuts Magazine.

Days of Des
Britain's leading Des O'Connor  tribute act Stan Thompson relives Des's career, all the way from turning out for Notrhampton Reserves through to not being on TV as much as he should be these days, compared to Brucie. Especially suitable for giddy ladies of a certain age.
"If you love me, then you'll be OK with Stan"- Des O'Connor.


Meet Me in Auld Reekie
The classic Judy Garland musical "Meet Me in St. Louis" relocated to the  streets of Edinburgh herself with many obvious local references. Remember than scene showing the invention of the ice cream cornet at the Worlds Fair? Well think deep-fried Mars Bar at the Commonwealth Games.( Please note 'The Trolley Song' will not be performed due to the continued delay in building the new tramway) "Inevitable"- The Scotsman

Pipkins: The Final Hours
Drama surrounding the characters in the tatty looking 1970s children's lunchtime puppet show in the days just before they learn ATV is cancelling them to make way for The Muppets. Starring Gus Honeybun as Hartley Hare.
"The song 'I am Pig' will break a million hearts" - LookIn Weekly.

The Whuke
The greatest hits of The Who re-imagined on ukuleles and tambourines, including the complete soundtrack to Quodrofenia Quasmophobia Tommy. Look out for the spectacular auto-destruct ending, but don't worry, the lads will be back in a local charity shop tomorrow morning re-tooling. Support from The George Formby Experience. Warning - risk of splinters
"A real trip, man" - Melody Maker.

The Ladyladies After Dark 
 Direct from Thailand, the gorgeous women in this show have a naughty secret. They are all, in fact, gorgeous women! Don't spoil the surprise! Like I just did.
"Confusing" - Attitude.